to Sleep or Perchance to Dream

Each morning, I wake between 5:30 AM and 7 AM.  Every. Single. Day.  No matter what time I go to bed and try to fall to sleep.

Sleep - oh Beautiful Sleep - pull me into dreamland...

I do my best on the weekends to doze off again, to get a few more ZZZsss. On the rare occasion, it works and I am able to get another hour or two of sleep. Oh, those glorious Saturdays when I can doze  a bit more. Or Sundays when the warmth of John’s body next to me compels me to sleep a little longer.

Tonight is the example of the opposite: the evenings. When John is ready to crawl between the sheets and I am wired and wide awake.

Sometimes, I crawl into bed with him and read. Grateful for the back-light of my Kindle to hopefully lull me into dream land sooner than later. Other nights, I settle in the chair in our bedroom and read. Inevitably waking at 2 AM.

Or nights like tonight. John goes to bed way too early for me, so I take myself downstairs, fire up the computer, and binge watch Bosch on Amazon as I pick at work.

Two things here: Bosch is amazing. Titus Welliver is a wonderful Harry Bosch.

And. Picking at work means digging through old blog posts and scheduling them on social media. Dear heavens I am grateful for Social Pilot and the ability to manage all my social feeds with the click click click of a mouse.

I will confess: I am envious of John’s ability to sleep with such ease.

I wonder if all his years on ships gifted him with the ability to fall asleep wherever he may be. It’s as if he thinks “I should get some sleep,” and his body follows with no fuss. No struggle, not trying to convince his brain that despite the fact that his body is begging for respite, there are things to think and mull over. His brain doesn’t insist he stay awake.

Nope. He climbs between the sheets and is asleep within seconds. Color me green with envy as I wish I could shut down my brain and my body in pursuit of beautiful sleep.

I know the science. I quote the science on the regular when it comes to touting sleep as an important part of managing your life. I know that I need a solid 7 hours of sleep, to go to bed at the same time each night and wake the same each morning.

Yet, I find myself sitting here wishing for sleep. Perchance to dream.