I promised myself that 2015 would be the year that I focused on being a better custodian of myself and my life; it’s a word that feels more challenging than the hardest word of the past, the year I chose faith. It would be so easy to 
ignore (or pretend) that I am doing a bang-up job at becoming devoted to the myriad of ways I can nurture the areas of my life that need to be nurtured, yet to say so would be a lie.
I am a good lie detector when it comes to others, so there’s no sense in trying to lie to myself and say that I’ve done an awesome job so far. It’s been a daily struggle because the trio of Inner Furies (Critic, Fear and Doubt) have built a fortress in head.
What I know for fact, however, is that by choosing to write about it, I can better process and build my courage for battle, I thought taking electronic pen to paper would be more useful than even journaling. So, here’s a midyear update on some of the ways being a Custodian is surfacing this week.
When it comes to my body…
When JB got his blood work back from his physical, he was told his cholesterol is too high. We eat a fairly healthy diet and his good cholesterol was great (due to all the Olive Oil and Fish in our diet) but he still needed to lower the bad cholesterol. I’ve struggled with cholesterol myself and my next round of blood work isn’t until September. So, it would be good for both of us for me to get a little more serious about it.
I prepare every meal we consume so it was time to take a deeper look at what we’ve been eating and sure enough, there’s a lot of foods that can be cut out (goodbye bread every night) and I need to pay closer attention to the amount of fiber in our diet (hello oatmeal and more fruits and veggies).
And let’s be honest, being more aware of the meals I create for us as a family only lends to me putting healthier foods into my own body.
But the number one thing the Mayo Clinic says you can do to lower your cholesterol is exercise. So, it was time to put more effort into moving our bodies. When he lived in DC, he rode his bike about 20 miles several times a week, but our lifestyle here has gotten a bit more sedentary. We’re riding at least once over the weekend and trying to get to the pool to swim laps as well.
Though I can’t force him to exercise, I can certainly make sure that I get my own butt in gear. I’ve been out on the bike twice this week and out for a long walk twice. I’m learning that if I don’t get out of the house by 9 AM (on average) for some exercise then it just isn’t going to happen.
I felt my best when I was running a couple of days a week, meditating regularly, doing basic body-weight exercises (like push-ups) and I need to work back up to that.
I’m not noticing a different number on the scale, however I feel better and am better able to manage my stress and my emotions when I exercise.
When it comes to my mind and soul…
I’ve been reading a lot this year. I hadn’t really bothered to keep track in the past of how many books I was actually reading, but I can tell you the the pace of reading has increased. I set an initial Goodreads Goal of 52 books this year and at present I am at 83, so this week I reset my goal for 2015 to be 147 books. I am reading a lot of “cozy mysteries” because they are like comforting mind candy – a grown up Trixie Belden – and I’m enjoying them as balm for my mind and soul. I’m still reading a fair number of “Best Sellers” and books that feed my mind so that I am a better coach.
I’m also diving into well written TV. I’ve long been a fan of Major Crimes (a spinoff of TNT’s The Closer) as well Rizzoli and Isles. I’m also enjoying a new TNT Series, Proof, as well as a summer series on CBS, Zoo, which is based on one of James Patterson’s novels.
When it comes to my talents…and time…
Writing has been a challenge this year, yet all signs continue to point to the fact that I need to write. I’m feeling a lot of internal pressure to Write Something beyond my regular consumables for work, yet by the end of the week, I’m 
exhausted creatively.
This is one of those weeks.
We are traveling tomorrow for ten days and I don’t want to spend all my time in the hotel working while JB is teaching; I want to get out and explore. I want to stand in Louisa May Alcott’s bedroom and walk to Walden Pond.I want to visit Curly Girl’s little shop and revel in her creativity.
That feels like a better use of my time than sitting in the hotel doing work. Or worse yet, distracting myself from working by scrolling through Facebook.
So, I doubled up my writing for work this week and, in addition to this week’s blog post and newsletter, I have solid drafts for next week’s that just need to be edited. I also have two drafts in the hands of my YourTango editor that will publish in the next ten days.
To be honest, I’ve missed writing HERE. Well, not specifically here at “DebraLoves.Com, but writing in my own personal space without regard for needing to stay “on brand” or running my work through the software that penalizes me for using a passive voice. I’ve missed writing about the big and little things that create our lives.
In recent years, I’ve denied myself this regular space for writing, even when I most needed it. But like the blank pages of the sketch pads I use for journaling, I also need the blank canvas of the web and a personal space to write. To make it more inviting, I need to do a bit of design work here to go beyond the initial basics of the theme I installed.
When it comes to my business…and relationships
That my business needs to shift and evolve isn’t anything new. My business has always been an integrative part of my 
life as well, whether I am coaching or writing. So that means it has to feed my satisfaction with my daily life just as much as my nourishing daily life inspires and feeds my business life.
I’ve been mulling over how to best manage the different facets of my business and how I want to bring forward each of my programs. I had a long talk with JB about how I am feeling and what I am desiring and where I’m frustrated. Having is support on Whatever I Decide To Do humbles me and sends me to my knees with prayers of gratitude as I’ve never had that kind of support until this relationship.
I had a great session with Theresa Reed yesterday, who is not just a wise woman, but wicked smart when it comes to managing an intimate business. It helped to walk through every piece of my business with someone else. I am an extrovert and that means that sometimes, I have to talk in order to think.
I’m not ready to announce my plans yet, but I will be soon. It will be necessary soon.
And on that note, it’s time to close the computer, hop in the shower and dive into the necessary pieces of my day. I have a hair appointment and need to make one last run to the grocery store before we leave. I have a book to finish so that I can return it to the library before we leave (Nemesis by Catherine Coulter).
I also need to finish the business pieces I want to set in place before this trip and will do so while JB is off working on a new venture for him. And, there’s that half empty suitcase waiting to be filled.
Here’s to a happy and loving rest of the weekend.
