After weeks of agonizing on the details of my next product, I finally dotted the final i’s and crossed the final t’s on the first piece – the “welcome packet” Become Besotted: Beginning Your Journey. I’ve been picking at it for weeks. I spent several hours on Thanksgiving laying it out, asked the fabulous Melissa for an opinion on the 85% finished product yesterday and, this morning, I sat down to my desk at 6:35 AM and didn’t walk away until the document was edited, turned into a PDF and then turned into a PDF with form fields so it could be done digitally.

It was sent to subscribers at 12:40 PM.

This isn’t what I began to write about here today. It’s not very “Holiday-ish”, but this is my life. I didn’t feel like I could move forward on any other piece of writing without finally sending  the completed packet out.

When I conceived the idea of “Become Besotted“, I first believed it was something that I could pull together quickly. I’d take the tools I used for clients and transform them into a monthly reminder to check-in with yourself.

I thought it would be simple. Easy. A down and dirty (though beautifully presented) few pages of questions to open your mind just a little.

Every time I sat down to work on this project, I battled the Demons of Fear and Resistance. My Inner Critic chimed in and told me that if this were meant to be created, it would be easier. My Critic reminded me how horribly I had let you down by not delivering something earlier.

We are often guided to create what we most need in our own lives. What is the saying? Teachers are called to teach the lessons they most need to learn?

The last decade has been transformational for me. I am 46 1/2 years old at this writing. In no way do I resemble the new divorcee I was at 36. My daily life is nothing like it was when I was 41. My soul is different, too. The journey between 42 and 47 has removed layer after layer of protection I had built to protect myself.

I am finally becoming who I was born to be in this world. It is dazzling and delightful and painful. Yet, there is a special sacred exquisite nature to that pain. Because I’ve come to realize that it’s burning away my old existence and old ways of living.

The Resistance and Fear? They surfaced because I am in the middle of my own heroine’s journey.

Become Besotted: Beginning Your Journey is 59 pages long.  I had anticipated a twenty page document – a fourth of which would have besotted5been fluff and fill-in.  Instead, there are a few introductory paragraphs from me, some inspirational quotes to prod the recipient along, and over 100 loving inquiries and assertive questions.

To toss out something easy or quick would been cowardly.  A heroine on a journey isn’t cowardly. So, I dug in more deeply and instead of simply pulling something together to begin this journey, I created something rooted in the magnificence of the heart.

A book worthy of guiding people towards a metamorphosis. A series of questions devised as a way to revolutionize someone’s life.

That was my work today. Am I am ever grateful.